Aug132010

Fruitful Harvest

For all life’s challenges, I am feeling blessed on many fronts, between fuzzy  orange kittens on our couch…

and large fuzzy fruit, bowing down the branches of our  solo peach tree.

Before and After

On the peaches: I guess it’s still trial and error until I learn the optimum moment to harvest (this being just our second year), and I fear without pesticide it’ll be the second year of ignoring the bugs who literally wormed their way in first.

Any suggestions on both subjects much appreciated.

In the meantime, may you truly enjoy the fruits of your harvest!

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Apr102010

Looking Thru New Windows

Yesterday afternoon, as I stood in my naked kitchen looking thru my brand new windows I saw something I’d never seen before.  A small flock of Cedar Waxwings feasting in the curbside tree.  What a glorious piece of art they each are ~ somebody’s creative juices were really flowing that day.  Take a look… in flight the bright yellow stripe across the end of the tail is striking, as is the little flash of red on the wing.

Cedar Waxwing

Cedar Waxwing

My kitchen remodeling project has progressed, expanded and begun to bloom. The kitchen, dining room and living room have been rewired, scraped and now cleared of furniture (mainly into the two bedrooms and my office – challenging to say the least!). On Friday the kitchen sink went, drywall was installed, carpet and old flooring removed and today, ceilings and walls primed. It’s going to be awesome.

So life here changes externally as it has internally. Looking at the same view thru different windows is quite something.

GZ

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Feb222010

How Refreshing

Hi Everyone – hope you all are good and happy.  I am.

I’m also busy, but then that’s my usual mode of being.  The difference now is that I’m busy and very happy most of the time, instead of busy and mostly happy some of the time.  You are going to hear the “H” word a lot from me, so at some point it’s gonna evoke rolling of the eyes and silent mutterings of “there she goes  again,” but I know you’re happy for me too.

Santa gave me a book this Christmas past called “The Little Zen Companion” by David Schiller.

LittleZenCompanion

I intended to use it immediately and regularly to keep my Thoughts from Outside the Oasis fresh (upper right sidebar).  Since then, of course, I’ve been a little busy and it’s already almost March… yikes!

Today I recovered the book from under a pile of papers (oops) and saw that I had already tagged a couple of goodies, so here goes the first of many…better late than never, right?!

“How refreshing, the whinny of a packhorse unloaded of everything!”

Those who know me well will be able to hear me whinnying now.

And you all might take a look at one of my favorite films -  “Young Frankenstein” – there’s some full-on neighing going on there…

Be well and refreshed and get your whinny on,

GZ

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Jan162010

That’s What Friends Are For…

I haven’t blogged in ages but today I had such a great reunion with some good friends, not just friends but empowered women colleagues – my peers in fact, and it made me feel good enough to write again.  I’ve actually been rapidly heading in that direction, but today, right now, I’m motivated to take action.  Listening to their stories and hearing their journeys, the ups and downs, the lessons learned, I felt completely at home, engaged in their company and…happy!   I’m pretty sure we all felt that way to one degree or another and I just think it’s awesome.

So I wanted to say thank you to all my friends: thank you for being protective and scared for me; thank you for supporting the decisions I make when I make them, no matter what; thank you for your sage advice, for sharing your experiences, for your humor, and for your love.  You rock!

That great and silly Vulture song from the Jungle Book popped into my head and stayed there. I was going to post the whole thing for your viewing/listening pleasure, but then decided that was a teensy bit of overkill.  However, if’n you’re a fan and want to, here’s a cute link from YouTube:

Jungle Book – Vulture Song

Jungle  Book - Vulture Song

And stay tuned :)

GZ

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Nov212009

A Little Demolition Goes A Long Way

So I’ve been quiet because I’ve been really busy helping a friend and at the same time dealing with something else I felt was heading towards an untenable situation for me.

clarefireworks-3

Photo: Clare Barekat

Lo and behold, my worst fears were realized and my life is abruptly, frighteningly in violent upheaval.  The stress is huge, the anxiety gnaws and gnaws.  Yes, yes, don’t give it power, love myself blah blah blah.

Stress likes to manifest on my upper lip and I have a doozy right now.  It’s ugly and it hurts…much like the situation that caused it.

I tried a little retail therapy today and guess what, it wasn’t happening, not even when I told myself forget the Xmas shopping just buy something for me.  Nope, didn’t happen.  Apparently retail therapy only works on certain levels.  Now I know.

But what I can tell you really, really does the trick is some controlled demolition, and a little demolition goes a long way.  Yeah baby!

Just wanted to share because it’s been way too long since we last spoke.

Gotta get back to what’s left of that kitchen cabinet now… more soon.

GZ


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Oct122009

Emails from Mars and Venus

I’d like this post to be a gentle nudge to all you multi-taskers out there to try and switch back to solo focus when it comes to writing your emails.

keypadI am continuously struck by the time I have to take when composing and sending relatively short emails. But here’s why I’m Ok with it.  If it’s important to you, it’s worth the extra attention to get it said right the first time.  More and more these days, when I’m proofing and editing emails, I find I’m deleting not adding text.  Less really is more – more clarity, less chance for misinterpretation.

It’s not just that you may send (or think you’ve sent) to someone you didn’t mean to (just a tiny nudge of the trackball away), but more: without the facial expressions of the other side of the conversation, it’s so, so easy to be misunderstood and cause unintended grief.  Whether real or imagined, grief is grief and it can seriously derail things.

And these days you can’t just go running after the cyber mailman and beg him to retrieve your note – although occasionally, if you’re really lucky, you can recall an email before it’s clicked on – no, usually you hit the button and it’s gone, around the world twice before you can blink.

The biggest bummer is that mostly you won’t know you’ve said something squirly until you hear it interpreted in a way you so, so weren’t thinking of. I have to believe that this happens far more among women than men, for the same reason it happens in face to face conversation between men and women all the time.

And why? Because we come from different planets right?  Thank you John Gray (who by the way is a truly entertaining public speaker – well worth seeing even if you don’t give a ding dang about his books, which I think you should) for opening this doorway for us.

Personally, as a woman, I believe I know how much is written between the lines, but sometimes I wonder what life must be like without all that extra reading?

GZ

P.S.  Do men wonder the reverse?  Probably not…

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Sep302009

The Good People of L.A.

This morning on the drive in, I stopped to help some folks whose car needed a jump.  It took about 2 minutes.  They were happy, I was happy, and my whole day immediately changed to a flavor better than ice cream.  Yummmm!

I already tweeted a version of the opening paragraph because I thought it was a fun thought to share, but it also ties in with the fun time this weekend at the Redbull Soapbox Derby that I was already planning to tell you about.

The Derby took place in several blocks of downtown Los Angeles on September 26. There were a lot of people in a small amount space which meant we didn’t get to see much of the actual runs, but there were also large screens so we waited at the finish line area and watched the precarious journeys down Hill Street, through the straw bale chicane, over the jumps (lots of air, often too much) and down to the finish at 5th and Olive.

These were some fun vehicles and crazy drivers and it was hot (92).  Could have done with some of that ice cream, but water was good. We stood and watched and sweated rivers and laughed some more.  When the jumbotron went out, we just watched the people and admired the buildings and chatted.

Anyway, thought I’d share with you a peek at the good people of L.A. last Saturday.

soapbox-1

Picture 1 of 25

GZ

P.S.  Note to self: need to get out more, there’s still a world of fun out there!

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Sep212009

Fear of the Unknown

I’m at my son’s football game late last week.  It’s the 4th quarter and dusk, looks like we’re going to win.  Suddenly a large (3 or maybe 4″ long) flying something lands on my left forearm.  The mom friends either side of me freeze and/or squeal and want it to go away, but being the lover of creatures big and small that I am, I know a little about critters and I say wait, it’s fine, this gentle giant is a moth, it doesn’t even have a mouth to bite me with.

We sit for several moments, someone takes a picture, and then I encourage the moth to climb up on my right forefinger and I raise it up.  Its wings go to the upright position, and as it gathers momentum I can see the yellow spots on its abdomen.  Then it takes off, leaving a trail of frightened shrieks and squeals as it swoops low over the bleachers.

Here’s the picture that was taken – it’s blurry so you can’t see the detail, but you can see the size.  Yikes, right!?

moth 250px-Manduca_quinquemaculata_adult_female

I’m pretty sure it was a Five-spotted Hawk Moth – so I’ve added a picture of one of those in its full glory, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Driving happily home from the game I thought, hmmm, I feel a little life metaphor coming on: just how fear of the unknown can block so much enjoyment and appreciation of the truth.

Be brave on your journeys, my friends, things are so often not what we think they are.

GZ.gif

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Sep142009

The Secret Life of Boys

The previous post reminded me of something important and I wanted to share it with you.  It’s all to do with raising boys and using practical diversion as an enabler for communication about something emotional.

In the late 1990′s I became a single mother.  My son was 3 and a half. I felt I could cope pretty well with raising my son on my own but when I tried to do the things dads do so naturally – things like rough-housing and the way guys set different exploration standards (no, no, you can’t let him do that it’s too dangerous, or he’s too young, or he’s not big enough, cry the Moms), I knew I was going to fall short. I tried, but I’m a woman not a man.  I let that part go but it made me really think about what was going to be important for our relationship thru the years ahead.  What we were going to need was to be able to communicate really well with each other and I realized I didn’t exactly know how to do this.  I am one of three girls, raised by Mum who was an only child.  I’m talking all girls, all the time.  My father had left us early on and was non-communicative.  So what I’m saying here is I had no experience with boys in a direct family context.

I did my research and came upon this book.RaisingCain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

The element that I was reminded of today being:  if you need to talk to your young sons about something on a more emotional level, start working on a practical project together and then bring the subject you need to discuss into the conversation.  Keeping some focus on the project seems to reduce or take the stressors out of talking about a more emotional or anxiety-ridden subject (i.e., is something bothering you, or I heard something happened at school today let’s talk about it, etc.).  Women know talking about stuff is important, this is a mechanism to make it happen with your sons that works.

So any mothers of boys out there, particularly if you’re on the single parent path like I was, please read this book.  It’s important.  More so today than ever before I think.

GZ

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Sep142009

Go West High Warriors!

The arrival of September begins a period of intense enjoyment for me.  Mostly related to my son’s participation in high school football.  I note in myself several layers, all shifting and adjusting during this period.  Having football first in line in my focus, means other priorities shuffle back a step.  What I’ve realized this does not do is lessen their importance, instead it lessens the pressure, anxiety, stress, I feel about them.  That’s a really good thing and something I’d like to maintain all year if I could, and I’ll be working on it.  However, for now I stand up and say, Hi, my name is Gillian and I’m an adrenaline junkie.  And oh boy, that rush I feel watching from the high school bleachers!

‘[Wikipedia] “Adrenaline junkie” is a term used to describe somebody who appears to be addicted to epinephrine (endogenous) and are sometimes described as getting “high” off of life. The term adrenaline junkie was popularly used in the 1991 movie Point Break for people who enjoy dangerous activities (such as extreme sports) for the adrenaline rush. Adrenaline junkies appear to favor stressful activities for the release of epinephrine as a stress response. Whether or not the positive response is caused specifically by epinephrine is difficult to determine, as endorphins are also released during the fight-or-flight response.’ Whether it’s the epinephrine or the endorphins that do it for me, I really don’t know.  I just know I definitely get high on life whatever I’m doing.

My daredevil days are long-gone (I’m a little too responsible and a lot too old now), but I still push myself, test my limitations, rise to challenges.  That must be part of my warrior DNA.  And speaking of warriors: Go West High Warriors!

Anyway, September of course heralds the Fall – Autumn, as I knew it back home in England. Having lived in California for almost 30 years, I’m used to the fact that the Fall isn’t really much to speak of in foliage terms.  Yet there are trees that turn and leaves that drop, rustling onto the sidewalks, and the neighborhood hues change.  The morning mist begins to smell different.  It makes me think of my home, my family all there, and I draw comfort from that reminiscence.  I may be far away, but I never forget.

Happy Birthday Clare, I love you… and Go West High Warriors! (I know, I said that already).

GZ

DandelionInFall

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